These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
