Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
