yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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