okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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