ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
