yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
