good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
