No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Well I just put wine in my tea
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
