theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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