me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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