You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
