I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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