btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
