I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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