But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
