can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
