im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
