He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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