Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
