Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
