It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
