Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
