I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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