i need an iv and a liver transplant
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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