i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
