just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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