We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
In other news, I just burned my penis
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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