oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize