I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize