we have pet lesbian snakes
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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