Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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