The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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