I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
