Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
