i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize