first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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