That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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