Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
