We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
