The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
