Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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