i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
