Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
