Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
