not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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