lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
