Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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