He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
