My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
