im drinking this country out of the recession.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
