wrigley field is MILF paradise
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
