these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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