Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
