My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
