So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
