She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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