No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
