i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
