I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize