3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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