I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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