I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
