Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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