i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
