I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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