Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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